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I hold on. To my surprise, though, it is the president, himself, who comes on the line. "I'm very glad to talk to you, sir," the president says. "Hillary and I have greatly enjoyed your recipes."
"Actually, Mr. President, Mr. Cartwright is the person you want to talk to. I'm his assistant. I'm afraid he's out, right now, kayaking."
"Kayaking? Where are you all?"
"In the Florida Keys, Mr. President."
"Is that right? I thought you were in Louisiana."
"We're in the Florida Keys. A bit short of Key West."
"I see. Then where will we be having lunch before we come over to you?" the president asks.
"I believe you'll be lunching in Boca Raton, which is about three hours by car from where Lowell -- Mr. Cartwright -- lives."
"We're going to be coming to your restaurant that evening? How are we getting there, George?"
A muffled answer.
"I see. Well, that's fine. Wish I could take the time to do some fishing. But your restaurant -- it's not a fish restaurant, is it?"
"Oh, no sir. It's...the thing is, it's not a restaurant. It's" -- Is this going to screw the whole deal, somehow? -- "It's where we live. Mr. Cartwright prefers to have favored people dine with us in his home. The view of the water from the back deck is splendid."
"A house on the water?" the president says. "Has George registered that?"
More muted discussion.
"I'm sorry," the president says. "I get caught up in logistics, when it's better to leave it to the experts."
"Water," I hear George Stephanopoulos hissing in the background.
"You know, I'm a chef's nightmare," the president says. "If I had my way, I'd eat a medium hamburger with extra mustard and go fishing with you guys." He says: "Isn't that what I'd do, George?"
"Papaya," Stephanopoulos hisses. Is he hissing at the president?
"Hillary got all excited about that papaya dish," the president says. "I'm going to let you speak to the boss about this, but if there's one thing I might request, with the exception of shrimp, I'm not overly fond of seafood."
"No seafood," I say.
"Well, yeah, that kind of cuts to the chase," the president says. He clears his throat. "Just out of curiosity, how far is the airport from where you are?"
"Less than an hour, sir."
"That's fine, then. George and Hillary will firm this up, and we're looking forward to an exceptional meal."
"Mr. Cartwright will be so sorry he missed your call."
"Fishing in the kayak?" the president asks.
"Just paddling around with a friend," I reply.
This seems to cause the president several seconds of mirth. "Quite different from my plans for the afternoon," the president says.
George Stephanopoulos cuts in: "Thank you very much," George Stephanopoulos says.
"We look forward to making plans," I say.
"Good-bye," George Stephanopoulos says. "Thanks again."
I am standing there in my barracuda briefs, preparing to shower and go on my date. I fully realize that when Kathryn finds out, she will raise an eyebrow and say something sarcastic about my having a date. She will no doubt see my going into Key West as analagous to the butler's going off to find the former housemaid: a sad moment of self-protective delusion. Like him, I also won't be bringing her back. I'll be swimming with her at some party. Then, if we have sex, it can very well be in her room at the hotel. Simple white boxers are almost always preferable to the barracudas, when one is disrobing for the first time. The tangerine sports shirt that is my favorite is probably a bit too tropical-jokey; slightly faded denim seems better, with a pair of new khaki trousers.
"I'm going into Key West," I say, coming upon Lowell, pouring glasses of iced tea at the kitchen counter. "See you tonight."
Excerpted from Perfect Recall, copyright (c) 2000 Ann Beattie. Reproduced with permission from the publisher; all rights reserved.
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