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Beth_C
Clash of Cultures
Amy Chua, daughter of Chinese immigrants, had what she felt was a traditional Chinese-American upbringing. All of the emphasis was on success - in school, selected activities, and work. Family always came first and being second was failure. When her own daughters were born, she and her Jewish-American husband agreed that she could use the Chinese-American model with them. Thus, eldest daughter Sophia was taught to read and do math before ever reaching school age. She was also started on piano lessons at age three. the music lessons in particular required Amy to be the "tiger" mother - one who is often hated, as she insisted on strict practice times and routines. With her second daughter, Lulu, Amy used the same approach. However, while Sophia was mostly agreeable, Lulu rebelled at every chance. She was taking violin lessons and was excellent with the instrument, but family life was frequently in turmoil as she resisted the "tiger" pushing her towards success. This memoir tells Amy Chua's side of the family behavior - what she expected, what she hoped for and what the girls accomplished. It is an enjoyable foray into the behind the scenes activities of Chinese-American family life. The book would appeal to readers of ethnic literature as well as memoir readers. It would make an interesting book club choice.
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Great write up but..
Though I have to say she have really written the book well in terms of plotting it, her grammar and placement, throughout the book, I came to dislike the author herself.
She kept mentioning how both Western and Chinese teaching are different and it is just a way to express it.
I am find with that, but later it felt as if she is going against the Western type of teaching, as if it is something no one should ever do. I felt her earlier sentence of respecting both teachings are gone.
In fact the way she treated her daughters are so upsetting. Everyone live in this world ONCE, brought up by you, and all you can do is to torture and threaten your children with words so hurtful I do not even know if she is raising a slave or a child. Yes it only gets fun when you know your basics, that I would agree whole-heartedly. In fact I am not surprise her daughter have been a great musician. But i notice she did not mention if her daughters are interested in music at all. If they did not, it meant that Amy herself have forcefully want her daughters to do things she wanted.
One more thing i would like to point out, yes she may have controlled them, she made their 'dreams come true' and probably I say Amy has won. With such an attitude towards her daughter and her husband, NOT EVEN allowing his own love to give his opinion, I do not understand why, with such ignorant behavior to not only her family, but the society, is able to live with a pride which should be in shame.
Look at your children Amy, look at how she tore that music sheet, stamped it, threw at you a chair in your face. Do you think you have solve that one problem you yourself had? Rebellious. Stop claiming yourself right, eventually you will see one day how it is felt like to be rebelled, to be in control by someone and be treated like a slave.
Kudos on your writing, but never am I fond on how cold-hearted can one mother be.
Vicky_S
Keeping An Open Mind
I was at times fascinated and appalled by Amy's recounting or her parenting wondering at times if she suffered from OCD. I also had to constantly keep an open mind and not condemn her culturally different parenting. Book clubs could feast on this book with rich discussions of the Western vs Chinese or Asian way of raising children. Could we really achieve much more if we were pushed hard and would we appreciate it later? I've shared the subject of this book with many others who are interested in reading it. The writing was a bit awkward at times which is why I gave it a 3.
Katherine Y. (Albuquerque, NM)
Interesting Ideas for Book Group Discussions
While I disliked the author and her "Chinese parenting" techniques - I found myself ultimately sympathetic to what she was trying to do for her daughters. Some of the points made are simplistic (e.g. I am not sure that the children's book "The Five Chinese Brothers" is the best example the author could have cited on Chinese child-rearing techniques). I read many passages to my daughter as examples of how lucky she is to have sane, rational parent. While I would not recommend this book to a friend, book groups could have lots of interesting discussion about the benefits of pushing your children as the author does and it was an easy, engaging read.
Gwendolyn D. (Houston, TX)
Raising Children the Chinese Way
This book is Amy Chua's story about raising her daughters "the Chinese way." Chua explains how she was relentlessly strict with her daughters in order to get them to excel at school and music. She contrasts her method with "the Western way" of raising children. This contrast existed even in Chua's own family, as her husband Jed often disagreed with her methods: "I was already at a disadvantage because I had an American husband who believed that childhood should be fun."
Personally, I do not agree with Chua's harsh practices (including calling her children "garbage" and threatening to burn all their toys). Chua's descriptions of her daughters' punishing music practice schedules made me cringe. Fortunately, Chua learned to lighten up by the end of the book, but the first 150 pages are difficult to read. I feel sorry for Chua's children.
Cynthia B. (Puyallup, WA)
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
I'm torn on what rating to apply here - on one hand, I was deeply engrossed in the book and read it in one sweep which would indicate a high score - on the other hand, I am so vehemently opposed to the author's views that the majority of that score is negated. Objectively speaking, I believe that this book would evoke great discussions amongst reading groups. Having said that, I cringe while thinking of my own group who got into a heated debate over Marie Antoinette. Imagine what they would do over Eastern vs. Western practices of child-rearing. Holy cow, I'll have to hire security! In any case, I've started a fan club for Lulu - Go Team Lulu!
Dorothy M. (Maynard, MA)
A Look at Chinese Parenting
Amy Chua begins her book on the value of Chinese parenting with a list of what her children were never allowed to do - including watch TV or play computer games, have a playdate, or not play the piano or violin. And it includes such parenting tactics as telling her young daughter "If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to TAKE ALL YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS AND BURN THEM!." While she seems convinced that Chinese children are ultimately grateful for this kind of parenting, her description of the relationship with her younger daughter doesn't bear this out. While this is an interesting look at a different culture (and they do say this will be the century of the Chinese), I think most American parents will find it more disturbing than prescriptive. But there are a lot of really wonderful Chinese musicians and mathematicians.
mimi
Boring
I found the book rather boring, slow and so repetitive. I did not find any part of it funny. The way she chose to raise her children is not totally Asian, other cultures have similar parenting styles. I love reading and love to learn, there was nothing to love about this story nor to learn.
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